Full disclosure this was inspired by bitterness. And might I add with malevolent pride that from my single addition these scare quotes have propagated throughout the document like a noxious weed.

This one really didn't last long but that's not why we do it (why we make art I mean)

OK this was the original text:

I'm a certified mobile games hater so I had to click through to the source on this--

I didn't draw the same conclusions here. Maybe "a major player of iPad games" is sufficiently pathetic but I wanted things to be clear as crystal:

I don't remember why I was looking at Johnny Rotten's wikipedia page, but I will not be judged for my browsing history!

I appreciate the hustle here, and honestly I feel like if you're in a band you should be saying dumb shit like this, but at the end of the day, this isn't CREEM ok pal, it's fuckin en dot wikipedia dot org. Come on.

Maybe this seems against character, but I felt like I had to remove a great little detail from the entry for "I've Been Working On The Railroad (song)"
I wanted to let this slide but the vandals got too greedy. Credit for writing out Tchaikovsky's full name though!

I'm not sure why I was on this entry initially but I loved the list of nicknames someone gathered for the American Woodcock (bird). Weeks later I went back (I was talking to someone about nicknames) and I was horrified to discover that someone edited that particular part out. So I undid the edit, only to have my undo undid like 30 seconds later. Wow. So I did my due dilligence and found a source...

I think probably what happened is someone stumbled across this list of names and thought it was just someone having a laugh, so they scrubbed it out. Well it struck a nerve with me-- you know how many things in this world are weird, or are outliers, or don't really make immediate sense to the layperson??? MOST THINGS!!!

Incidentally my source had one more nickname than the original list, so I was able to not only protect but expand. Cut off my head and 7 more will grow in its place. I'm the timberdoodle, the mudbat, the bogsucker. I'm the night partridge, the Labrador twister. Fuck with me.

I forget if it was Carlos or Robert who said this the first time, but I added it to the list and it flew for two years before getting flagged as original research. Which is fair. But for the record we did say this on Citizens Band radio, and I am after all a citizen. This is Hi Hat waving a hand to all the Barf City CB nuts on the Broom Closet, Channel 13. 73's 88's and all the good numbers to Sixer, Cool Dog, Little Biker, Sneakers, Hobgoblin, Toenail, Coffee Cup, and of course, C-C-C-Count Zero!!!! Hi Hat and I'm back quiet...

I was thinking about Football Rabbit the other day so I took a sec to add them to the entry for Prurient (musician). And I threw in a little smiler while I was in there. I was satisfied to get this note when my personal opinions got justly nipped (though the factual data remained) :

:)

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links / misc

• To mark the anniversary of this small occasion of triumph against dull creeping oblivion I made a "Nicknames of the American Woodcock" mug, and you may purchase one as well, if you like. It's a shortie, 11 ounces. That's a nice size. [tigerunlimited.com]
  

• I'm going to be selling stuffed animals at the ANTI-ROBOT VENDOR MARKETPLACE this Saturday, April 25th, from 4 to 8pm, at Farm Fresh RI, 10 Sims Ave.

  

  Last time I went to this, someone dressed up as a robot and no one did shit about it except ME. I held the line. I don't play.

• My noisy punk band TIGERS ON VASELINE is playing a show at Myrtle in May, come on out! Actually we're not really a band, it's more like a cadre of monks from a high mountain monastery who hone their bodies minds and spirits into iron daggers of sinister dexterity. I play "other guitar" and do not sing. Shoutout to Jeff Poot for the flyer, he's the Pen & Pixel of New England punk!

  

  This show will make the 3rd flea market we've played, out of 4 shows total. 5 shows if you count Mr Mitten's birthday party.

• Here's a great song about contemporary CB radio by Count Zero himself, with Ms Mirror Memory. of course i'm talking about [Rogue Fate by Daily Life, youtube]. This whole record is dynamite! "All cowards get stuck in a hole".
• OK from now on new posts will be on Tuesdays, dropping before 11am Barf City time, though the substack might go out a little later (but still before 2pm). If I miss one in the next seven weeks I will send Greg Harvester $200 to dispose of as he sees fit. If I get all of them I'm going to get one of those classic rugby shirts with the yellow stripes.
• Speaking of Greg Harvester, I redid his website recently and I honestly did a great job, check it out. I take my webmaster duties very seriously!!! [https://remoteoutposts.com/]
• Oh yeah, and I'm FINALLY trying to dial in the settings for "reading these posts on your phone". I can't promise that the rest of the site will look OK on a phone, but I'm trying to get to a point where the posts are a viable long read if you're stuck at a bus station or something, or you caught yourself scrolling scrolling scrolling and you're like Jesus CHRIST ok let's find something calm to look at for 5 minutes then I can get the hell out of this phone.

  PLEASE let me know in the comments if you read this on your phone and does it look OK, or does it look weird. It should look different this week than last week, and if it doesn't try deleting your browser history. THANK YOU 😘️

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