You guys love it when I talk about BEVERAGES-- here's a couple recent recent additions to the drinks menu over at the atelier, for you to enjoy, adapt, or reject.

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GERSHMANADE
Dissolve honey in hot water, add a pinch of salt and a shot of apple cider vinegar, then pour over ice. RIP George Gershman- nudist, dowser, watch repairman, and new age beverage entrepreur. I loved his mildly carbonnated drink "Gershman's Drink", which you used to find at area health food stores. This version has more salt, and lacks the fizz, but I don't miss the fizz to be honest, because this is a chug-style beverage anyway. Real talk I don't know what an electrolyte is but I know that my brain needs them. And I love my brain! That's where I keep my dreams.

MINT JULEP
I made a window box planter this year, just outside my bedroom, in the hopes that some foliage will lend a cooling effect to any breeze that may find me. The box is 2 milkcrates large, and one has my Worcester Mammoth Horicultural Beans, and the other has mint. The mint is there because I found some neglected in one of last year's pots, and I wanted the experience of bringing something back to life. Also I thought the smell would be nice. But as soon as I planted it my thoughts turned immediately to julep. I did not get any sizeable leaves in time for the traditional First Julep, which is the weekend of the Kentucky Derby, the first weekend of May. But I have a lot now, and I'm doing it, and it's nice.

In a small mug that an elderly relative made, put in a half tsp of sugar and 2 big mint leaves. Then put 2 ice cubes in your bare hand and crack them to the best of your ability with the back of a metal spoon. Add the shards to your cup. Then put in a shot of your house bourbon, and stir it around, crushing, or at least bruising, the mint leaves with the ice. I add a little tap water too. I make them small because I'm an extraordinary lightweight, and if I want another I'll just make another. I have a personal rule for alcohol that I can only drink in celebration-- when it's a julep in my hand I like to toast to either a place of birth or a horse (imagined or real).

ICED COFFEE
I talked about this the other day but I'm really into making iced coffee with instant right now. I fill an old Teddy peanut butter jar with ice, then add half soy milk half water, a wee drip of good maple syrup, and maybe a teaspoon of Folgers Crystals. Screw the lid on and shake the shit out of it, then put $6 in your own piggy bank.

I honestly think I'm drinking the perfect amount, and I drink them from the early afternoon until the edge of night. To "go Ayurvedic", add very minute amounts of cardamon, clove, nutmeg, and even cinnamon. For "night mode" add bourbon.

FIVE GLASSES OF WATER
Every spell in my grimoire starts with "drink enough water". Do not omit this crucial step or any demons you may manage to conjure will be foggy and listless.

ICED MATCHA LATTE
This is so easy. Follow my recipe for iced coffee but instead of instant coffee crystals put in matcha powder, which you get at that Japanese market downtown. The expensive kind says "ceremonial grade" but like, it's OK to be unceremonious on this one. With some people, that's what I love about them, their lack of ceremony. You don't see them for a while and then you do and they don't make a federal case out of it they're just like yo what's up dude and then you're back together like "Last Splash" era-Breeders. Anyway you know what to do from here (with the beverage I mean), you put the lid on and shake the shit out of it. if the powder don't want to blend just put it down for a minute and come back and give it another shake. There it goes.

ICED YERBA MATE
You'll need to hunt around for where to buy yerba mate. You want the big brick, not the little teabags you get at the health food store. I order it online, and of all the styles I always get "elaborada con palo": with sticks. Avoid getting the smoked kind because that causes your actual cancer. At first you'll be like, I want the special metal straw, I want the gourd, I want the whole paraphenelia. I get it. But honestly you can make it in a French press and it's great. In winter and fall, and some cool spring mornings, I like to add cocoa powder and a little sugar. When the weather is warm I pour the mate over ice and add lemon juice (and a little sugar). I had a roommate years ago from Uruguay and she was DISGUSTED by the way I prepared yerba mate. "It really sucks what you're doing right now". Then she tried my chocolate variation and said "it really sucks that this is really really good". Shoutout to Teresa!

THE FLOWER OF MY HEART
You guys I had a very stressful start of the year, and one thing that happened was we had to take one of my beautiful cats to the emergency vet. This was in late January-- she stopped eating, and then the next day we had a blizzard that made it impossible to do anything about it other than wait and see, which we did, but it only got worse. The next morning we borrowed our neighbor's big car and got there. Then we're waiting around, stress, the economic realities of the vet, dividing a large sum into manageable pieces then walking around the nearby Michael's while waiting for the x-rays thinking 26 custom birdhouses at $50 a pop seems possible, but if she needs surgery, then 100 birdhouses seems beyond the pale, what else they got. I'll cut the tension here: she's fine now (the cat). She ate something weird, but not string, which is what I was afraid it was. They gave her an IV of fluids and rubbed an appetite stimulant in her ear (!), and when we got back to the house she popped out of the carrier spry as anything and attacked a bowl of regular cat food. No throwing up, and days later, seemingly no complications. I hung out with her awhile that night, and then, in relief, and to be honest, out of necessity, I put pineapple juice, bourbon, bitters, honey, a whole raw egg, and ice into a jar, and shook it vigorously, then drank it on the couch while watching the movie Paddington in Peru (2024).

For loving friendship, and for kind strangers, I am truly and deeply thankful. Sometimes you eat something that hurts, and it scares you off food, and then that turns into the real problem. Everyone needs access to nice stories, utopic visions, pleasant dreams, and if need be, topical stimulants. To all artists out there: if you're thinking about trying to increase joy in this maddening world, I would say go for it, it helps. To all bartenders, I would call this cocktail "the Flower of My Heart". Garnish as appropriate.

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links / misc

• Fuck dude, Last Splash is so GOOD... Honestly I was in high school when this came out and it was more important to me than Nirvana. Absolutely lovely for the summer. Looking for a shareable version I found this inspired YouTube that puts the full album over the movie "Splash Too!" (1988). [YouTube]. I can't lie, I'm smilin' :)
• OK my other favorite underwater music videos are Sade "No Ordinary Love" [YouTube] and Weyes Blood "Movies" [YouTube]. I know that Blood has more than one underwater video, I'm saying this one is my favorite. Look for me getting down on one knee in "Weyes Blood Parking Lot" (2038).
• Heads up, Bloomsday is next Tuesday (the 16th of June) so I'm probably going to post late Monday night. My plan is to go to Worcester, which is my personal Dublin, and spend the day having a series of interludes. I'm thinking I'll start at Bancroft Tower and wind up at the Ship Room?? and in between I'll write a little poetry, buy soap, go to the post office, have a gorgonzola sandwich and a glass of burgundy...?

  If you do a Bloomsday celebration for the love of God send me a report afterwards. The rough itinerary is here: [Ulysses, by James Joyce]. More about Bloomsday here: [Bloomsday, on Wikipedia]. Wikipedia notes that on the first celebration of Bloomsday "the pilgrimage was abandoned halfway through, when the weary pilgrims succumbed to inebriation and rancour at the Bailey pub in the city centre". So while that's hardly the top score, that's the score we're trying to beat. I know what you're saying-- "I'd never succumb to rancour". Listen... everybody says that.

  Anyway I'm going to try and post something early because next week will be my tenth week in a row and I attached a personal reward to that accomplishment. Also I said if I didn't do 10 weeks in a row I'd send Greg Harvester $200 and I can't afford it! I can't afford the money and certainly not the shame. Emails will go out on Wednesday as per usual.

• the Clovers - One Mint Julep [link]. Big tune!
• thanks everyone :)

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