Fujichia

World Snake Day

2021/07/13
TIME TO CELEBRATE / REGARDEZ MOI / THINK OF SNAKES / JOYCE CAMEO / YOU'RE WRONG / INTERCEPT A SQUIRREL / NEIGHBORHOOD SNAKE / BARRELHOUSE COUTURE / WHEN YOU'RE ON DRUGS / LINKS
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World Snake Day is this Friday, July 16th. Do you guys have any plans? I don't really. I'm a few years in to keeping a regular observance of World Snake Day, ever since I discovered that it's on the same day as my birthday and that it feels better for me to say "World Snake Day is coming up" than to say "my birthday is on Friday". I mean I love those people that tell you over and over that their birthday is coming up but I need a little distance. In any event I don't expect that many people will celebrate my birthday privately, saying "it's Jacob's birthday today" to themselves while looking at a magnificent sunset (for example). But I do expect (and would prefer) someone to say, to no one, "it's World Snake Day y'all" while slowly cracking a beer and letting the foam hiss out malevolently. If that were to catch on, I would love it, more than if you silently blessed the day of my first cherubic footfalls. Which of course is still valid.

Anyway I don't have any plans except probably the beer thing, and "think of snakes" as a general background task. I might also maneuver silently between branches, bask on a hot rock in the sun, steal an egg, lay an egg, molt, tie myself into a knot below the earth in dreamless sleep, or emerge writhing and lethargic from a steaming hole in spring. I might, I might not. But I am going to at least think about these things. And at some point I'll intensely visualize a snake uncurling from the base of my pelvis and traveling up my spine to explode in light at the crown of my head. I recommend you do the same.


Snake Facts

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One thing I love about snakes is that their shape spells out the only sound they make: S. And it's the first letter of their name, that works out perfect.

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Another thing is that they said no to arms? That's really incredible. I mean I love my arms, and my legs for that matter, but I really respect that there are many ways to play the game, and that there's a pretty successful strategy that says no thanks to arms.

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Snakes can be found throughout the world and the only place where there are no snakes is the Arctic region. They are such adaptable creatures that they live in deserts, cities, oceans, lakes, forests, rainforests, and almost everywhere else. If you think that right now there aren't snakes in your part of the world, or even in your neighborhood, well I take no pride in saying this but you're mistaken.

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They can swim and crawl quite fast, and though they can't fly, there are gliding snakes that can outmaneuver and intercept a flying squirrel in mid air.

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Sometimes people have pet snakes that get loose in the apartment building, then get in the walls and live there, happily eating mice, lounging on warm ducts, and getting mega big, and God bless. You only ever hear about this when the snake noses out and someone in the complex says "Oh yeah, there was a lady here with a pet snake but that was yearrrrrs ago". Probably there's a lot of apartments with this feature and no one knows about it except the snake.

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My favorite snake is probably garter snake, which is cute and harmless, and they're named after part of a "sexy ragtime" costume, which lends them an added jouissance.

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Generally snakes keep to themselves, and are not seen. Sometimes they get really huge, like the tree-sized snake spotted in Bridgewater State Park in 1939. The ones that get personeatingly big do so by not being anywhere near people ever, so you can take some respite in that.

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Snakes get a bad rap in the west, for no reason. True, a snake gave Eve the apple, but you know what, apples are delicious.

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Mythologically, and across all cultures, snakes are really important. There are really too many wonderful and central snake myths and motifs to even start to list them in this pitiful margin. Possibly this is because, as Gary Larson once said, they are particularly easy to represent in 2 or 3 dimensional art (this is a paraphrase). Also I think that snakes are probably one of the easier animals to hallucinate. Very few people will eat the wrong berries and start seeing orangutans, or wildebeests, but who amongst us hasn't seen a snake where there probably was no snake? I certainly have and I'm not even a shaman.

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World Snake Day 2186 will have the longest solar eclipse in 5 MILLENNIA, a record that won't be broken for another 5 MILLENNIA! Mark the date-- July 16, 2186.

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If you want to think of "World Snake Day" like "[World] [Snake Day]" (day celebrating snakes around the world) or "[World Snake] [Day]" (day celebrating "the World Snake"), I think either is valid. I'll leave "World Snake" to your imagination.


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